more of the same--but only a bit

Wishing I could control myself
hating the way i feel inside
and wishing that what others think doesn't affect me so much

But I can't,
and still it goes on,
and it does.

i have always felt this way
if i am not the best, the most on top of things
the smartest

i am nothing.

and when i climb out of the hole,
it seems that i fall right back in.

nothing is really wrong
it's just not as i would have it.

i'll get by.