angel in the icu

the waiting room was empty
who would be there
anyway
at 3:30 in the morning
unless they had to be.

unless they had just heard
that their world
their life
was ending.

he was brain dead.

nobody could have foreseen this happening.

but there she was.

she had been there before,
though i was never sure why.

she was there when i came
and she was there when i left

i never actually saw her enter the icu

she said that she had a brother in there

and it never occurred to me to wonder
why she never visited him.

that day, though,
there was no pretense.

she wasn't there for a brother

she was there for me.

she saw me and gave me an encouraging smile
as i opened the door
and spent the beginning of the last day of his life with my husband.

no response to pain
no gag reflex
three major strokes
had taken my warrior away from me
away from my children
away from his mother and all his family.

i stayed the allotted time
and when i left,
expecting nobody

there she was.

she said not one word
just came to me
enveloped me
and held me while i cried.

when i was ready,
i left.

i never saw her again.

i don't know for sure if she was an angel,
but she will always be an angel to me.