baby steps to the dance

You sit in your corner
Isolated, alone
Protected from the world by your own inability to move forward.

"The world has hurt me, so I can't trust anybody or anything to ever come close again."

For years, the words have made sense, kept you safe.
You tell yourself that the people who try to break through to you
 have only more evil in mind for you.
They must at all costs be kept out.

But then, somehow, someone--something--gets through.
In spite of yourself, you find that you cannot live a completely solitary life,
and so you tentatively reach out for help,
and someone else takes your hand
and the dance begins.

It starts slowly, haltingly, with many falls along the way.
You have forgotten how to dance.

Dance?  Hell, you've forgotten how to walk!

And so you slide on your rump, trying to get the feel of it again.

It is so painful.
Trying to talk to someone.
Trying to connect.
Over and over, you think that you will give up.

It's just too hard.

But the newly-released spirit within you refuses to allow you to slide all the way back into your hole,
and so you try and try
and try again.

More and more grateful for the steady hand
That is always ready to lift you up.

"I had nothing to do with the mess that has become my life."
"It was the addiction, the illness, the abuse, the molestation, the divorce"
It was him.  It was her.  It was them.  It was a million different excuses, each one more believable than the one before.

You teeter and totter, clinging to the outstretched hand, not ready to take the next step.

Crutches of hurt and blame have kept you where you are, and you will not be able to dance before you can walk.

And so, slowly, gently, with many baby steps, you finally let go of the hand,
Turn to face the dawn,
And realize that you have been answering the wrong question.

It's true, you had an awful break.
What happened to you should never have happened.
You lived through a tremendous loss.

Those are great answers, but you misheard.

The question is NOT why did this happen to you?

That question has long since been answered.
You answer it still--
Over and over and over.

The question of the moment,
Sweet child of God, 
Is this:

What are you going to do about it now?

 All this time,
Face on the floor,
Head in the sand,
Stubbornly clinging to your pain and pride,

You did not even realize that your spirit has moved on.

All this time, you have been answering the first question,
And the second question,
At the same time.

By staying stuck in the first step,
Identification,
You have been unwilling
Unable
To proceed to the second step.

Can you move on?
Can you look at the second question and take a baby step toward the answer?

It will lead you into the dance.

So Sweetheart,
Look at it:
What are you going to do now?

The hand is still there,
Outstretched,
Nail-scarred.

Stand with me and let him lift you up.

Say with me,
I choose to live.
I choose to walk.
I choose to dance.

I will walk by your side,
I will help you in the walk

and that other hand will always always be there for you.

So take your first baby steps to the dance of freedom.

No, you won't immediately begin to samba,
To do a beautiful waltz.

It takes time.

But soon enough you will be walking,
Then running,
Then dancing,
Then flying.

All it takes is trust.

Trust in me,
Trust in him.
And trust in yourself.

Go forward into the dance,
And God bless you as you learn the movements.












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