A Intro-Inspection

I have wondered about this moment
This future
Since that day at the hospital.

I left the ICU
Shellshocked
A widow.

With four children at home,
A family that loved me
I had never felt so alone.

Years passed, and I watched my children
As they grew up and moved away.
I feared, not for them,
But for myself.

I knew that they were moving onward with their lives,
Finding love and families of their own.

But I had no one.

I felt ripped in half,
And I grieved for the part of me that would never return.
I lost the only man I have ever loved,
And I wanted no one.
No one could fill his void.

As the years passed,
I began to realize a truth
That took be by surprise.

I was surrounded by love.

My children may not be near,
But I know that they care,
And that is enough.

More,
I find that I have come to understand this truth--
I don't need bodies around me to be happy.

I am perfectly happy in and of myself.
In a way, being alone is what I was always meant to experience.
Not that I want to exclude others--
But honestly,
I have excluded myself for so long,

That it is only right that I get to know that person now.

I find that I like her.
She is interesting,
Observant,
She has a lot to say,
And she wants to see her dreams--
My dreams--
Come to life.

Maybe after this season of writing is over
I will feel the need to reach out to another
And to become part of a larger whole once again.

But for right now,
I am content.
My life is not lonely.
I have so much to do
That I don't know how I could cope with another person.

And for right now
That's okay.