Once upon a time there was a tiny little church. It was old and had obviously seen better days, as had the neighborhood. Not many people could get in at once-surely no more than 20 or so. The pastor was poor but honest, and his flock loved him. They were a motley assortment at best, but they all loved him.
Dwayne was one of the sheep, and he was the most vocal. He was old, loud, dirty, and proud of his evil past. He had come to the church years ago, and the pastor's easy manner and friendly disposition had persuaded him that it might be worth staying here. He found that the church was inviting--it didn't make fun of him or laugh at him. It didn't turn up its nose when he walked past--figuratively or literally. He was treated as a cherished brother, and Dwayne liked that. In fact, he started listening to the pastor's sermons (more homilies than sermons, really), and he found himself wanting to be a friend of the man that Pastor talked about.
Beauty was Dwayne's wife. She had been a streetwalker--she preferred that to tramp--but Dwayne had found her after he found the church. He took her to service, and she found welcome and acceptance there, just as Dwayne had. She wasn't made to feel ashamed, but she came to desire escape from her former life. Dwayne helped her leave the life, and the two of them had been helping others leave ever since. They didn't all care about the church or its God, but they were all grateful for the freedom that they had found, and they all were free to accept prayers--and even to ask for them. Dwayne and Beauty (whose real name, Betsy, was not nearly as pretty, in her opinion) felt sure that one day they would come to love the church, its pastor, and their God every bit as much as they did.
There were others, too. Sid was a drugged-out teen who had come to the church one night begging for a handout. Instead, he had been given a ride to a drive-in, a warm meal, and a place to sleep in the church's basement. Sid was offered help to kick his habit, and even though the help hadn't worked (yet), the sheep had high hopes. Deep in his heart, so did Sid. And like many others, Sid was attracted to the church and its God, if not yet convinced. Marianne and her partner Lianne were lesbians who came when Lianne found out that her mother had terminal cancer. Even though her parents refused to acknowledge their lifestyle, Lianne was worried and hurting. The church took both of them to its heart, and Lianne and Marianne were soon part of a prayer group. Some people were comfortable with the thought of gay people at church, others were confused, and still others were sure that the lifestyle was wrong, but none of them felt that dealing with that was as important as praying for a mother who was dying. They finally came to the conclusion that "Judge not lest you also be judged" was in the Bible for a reason. Others were just normal folk, mostly poor--like the neighborhood--but good people who loved God, loved the pastor, and loved the church.
One day a real estate developer came to town. He had been looking over the neighborhood, and he'd decided that the houses were too old and unsightly to be of any use to him. Some people rented--the landlords were happy to be rid of the nuisance. Others were happy to have a few dollars in their pocket and another house in a different part of town. They sold right away, at a profit. Some members of the church were in this crowd--they felt that God was blessing the neighborhood by bringing in new blood and giving others a chance to leave. The pastor wasn't so sure.
Soon, the neighborhood was quite different. The old houses were destroyed and new and fashionable condominiums took their place. The old neighbors were unable to afford to buy the sweet condos and soon left. The neighbors that stayed were happy, at least for a time. New neighbors came, too. They were different than the old ones, much different. They came into the little church and had a talk with the pastor. "We don't feel that the church paints the proper picture for this new community," they said. "We are willing to pay for an upgrade. You will have the most beautiful church in the city!" Once again, the pastor wasn't sure it was a good idea, but he didn't really have a voice in the decision. The vestry voted 12-0 to gratefully accept the new neighbor's building contribution, and the most wealthy and influential neighbor, Solomon, was voted into the vestry immediately. Nobody seemed to care that the number became 13.
Well, the little old church was torn down and a beautiful new building took its place. It drew the new neighbors to it like flies to garbage. The new neighbors were very aware of their social standing. They looked around at the original parishioners and did not like what they saw. They soon decided to take steps.
The first sacrificial lamb was Beauty. Edith, an accountant with a businessman husband and a high opinion of her life, came to her and hinted that she was a little--well--loud. Beauty, at first, took it in stride. She giggled and said, "I guess so. I'm not the mani-pedi and salon dye type. But at our church, you take us as we are. But the problem was that there were not that many original church members left. Edith and her friends made it a point to ignore Edith and her friends and keep her out of the loop. The pastor spoke to her about her attitude, but Edith pointedly mentioned that a pastor's salary is maintained by his parishioners, and he might want to keep his mouth shut. The pastor wasn't intimidated, but he was at a loss. He went to the chapel and began to devote time to prayer, seeking an answer to this question.
The answer came almost immediately. Solomon informed the pastor that he was not a good fit for the new church and its new congregation. They preferred "congregation" to "sheep". He was given a month's severance pay and told to find another church.
Soon after, Ed, a buff retired fireman who enjoyed positions of power, took both Dwayne and Sid in hand. Dwayne was told that the church would no longer support his going out and finding "those women". Dwayne got belligerent and profane, which Ed had secretly hoped would happen. He said that the vestry had assured him that they would not tolerate people who took the Lord's name in vain (let alone some of the
other things he had said). He was kicked out of church on the spot. Sid was even easier. He came to church one day looking for the pastor. He had fallen off the wagon and needed help. He hadn't been around for awhile and knew nothing about the recent changes. Ed greeted him at the door with a big smile and hearty handshake. He then called 911 and told the police that there was a person in possession of illegal drugs at the church. The police soon showed up and escorted Sid off the premises. The poor kid was over 18, so he was given jail time. He blamed the whole thing on God, not Ed, and vowed never to set foot in another church.
Lianne and Marianne were next. The vestry invited them to their next meeting. They told them that the church had decided that it would not condone homosexuality inside its walls. The two were told that they must publicly acknowledge that they were deep in sin and promise never to practice homosexuality ever again. The alternative was to leave the church at once. Lianne asked, "Will you still at least keep my mother in your prayers?" "She isn't gay, too, is she?" Edith said with a sneer. The two women turned away without another word.
It has been seven years, and First Church of Suburbia is doing very well, thank you. There are prayer services, women's brunches, children's camp, choir and praise team, and many other services and ministries available for the discerning church goer. If you hadn't known the church before, you might not notice the spiritual emptiness hanging like cobwebs from every window and door.
You might ask, "What about the pastor and his sheep?" Not all have returned. Many neighbors moved and were lost to him, but some sought him out. He found a space in a small gym and has services there on Sundays and is saving his pennies so that he can one day move to a real church. He is thankful for every day, and sorry that his flock had to go through such trials. He visits Sid in prison, and Sid has asked to be baptized. Lianne and Marianne found the church as well, and so did Dwayne and his wife. They are active and happy, if not as naive as they once were. They believe that God is in control and that everything happens for a reason. They admit that they can't understand why this happened, but they aren't too worried. They're too busy living for God and rejoicing in his name.
